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sometimes we miss the old days
while we really sure about one thing, that past will never back
past is past. period .
but if i still have a time to say
i want to ask him just only one question and i just need one answer yes or no
if he stand in front of me right here right now, i just want to ask this
was i ever loved by you, NiB?

yes or no....

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http://mimmarocks.blogs.friendster.com/my_blog/2008/09/doing_a_monolog.html

to know what happen in me

damn i try to avoid him, eh tapi gak dicari juga sih gw.. gimana mau avoid, dianya aja gak nyari...

ah saya tertipu lagi...

diaa...

100% philophobia Day

ha! another issued... gara-gara tuan B yang satu itu gw jadi beneran turn into 100% philophobia kronis. Akhirnya memang terbukti semua-semua yang jalan sama gw, end up nya cuma begitu saja...DAMN!! what's the problem with me??? something wrong with me i guess........................................

sebagai pengantar... buat yang ga tau apa itu philopobia.
Philophobia itu berasal dari gabungan kata Philia dan Phobia.
Philia sendiri artinya Love dan Phobia itu artinya Fear. Nah kalo diartikan secara penggabungan kata philophobia berarti afraid to falling in love or being in love.

...........................................

So you have already know what i feel rite now rite away kan. Damn it feels not so good for me. Kalo menyangkut kegagalan seperti ini lagi gue udah makin ngeri aja... takut buat ngarep sesuatu yang baru. Ah, cinta memang gila, cinta itu jahat dan penuh tipu daya. Well mungkin sebelum Tuan B itu datang di kehidupan gw, gw memang sudah menjadi bagian dari orang-orang philopobia dan gw berkata demikian pun pada si bapak itu. Sampailah dia come into my life, fill my brain, fill my soul (halah lebaayyy...) dan sampai lah kepada hukum alam "when u fallin in love then the risk is having a broken hearted". dan he dumped me i guess...gak cuma itu aja..he played my heart.... (damn damn damn damn damn damn..yes you are DAMN MORON!!!!!!!)

sudah menjadi hukum alam...yin and yang..night and day...happy and sad...

kacau.....im in deep shit!

re-bounce ??

fallin in love then heartbroken... its just a common issued that happen in our lives. and you said its enough to have such a feeling cause u know u've been played by him/her...you've been betrayed, your girl/boy cheated on you..thats sound not good, but thats really happen.

and i think, i need a re-bounce from all the things that happened lately. after so much crying, going home to my momma house and cried all day, watched dvd's, sleep till bored, doin nothing just thinking about him. that sucks anyway...but yes i did.

but...after so much time to get alone and cry of course (yes that was my last cry! i mean it!! damn i still luv him...hahahahahaha)... im starting to think that SHOULD I HAVE A RE-BOUNCE?

damn, i've been thinking a lot for these issue. someone says that if u want to survive from a hearthbroken things u should at least have some one as a re-bounce to help you to forget the person u love. but once again i talked to my self..do i need a re-bounce instead of thinking about him again and again and makes me blue...???owwhhh that sucks rite. but having a re-bounce its not a bad idea...

but... conciously thinking why i should go for that? i dont need a re-bounce.. i just need a time to forget about it, to bulid the things up, to help me out from this madness. i know he've been good to me. and i considered him as a friend, a best friend maybe. That was his rights to lost the feeling inside, and this is my rights too, to having this feeling. Now i realize that i just need an extra time to forgive and forget. beacause some says that TIME WILL HEAL. and i already proved it before with dytbdn, then why cant i with this one???

and i...?

she is the sun and she is the day...
i am the moon and i am the night..
i cant be the sun or the day just because they need me...
but she can be the moon and the night in same situation.
She can be day and night in the right place,
she can be a WHOLE day.

and i...?

and im just a little piece of his day.

can i walk with you??

India Arie Lyrics
Can I Walk With You Lyrics


For your information, this song represent my heart.
and i loved to wondering that he cud be the one i sing this song to.
but...the day is gone.
and im just alone...but i kept this song.
(the day u ask me for a friend-Mn)

Gloomy Day

another series of my life...
i just want to let him go FOR SURE.
hal ini terjadi karena percakapan gue dengan seseorang yang lebih senior yang akhirnya menyadarkan gw untuk gak berfikir egois dan pura-pura gak mau tau. ini cuma masalah kebiasaan, setiap hari ada sms atau telefon. babak telefon udah absen untuk selamanya, cuma text messaging yang masih suka dateng tiap harinya.. ini cuma masalah kebiasaan,gw yakin gw bisa ngelupain perasaan itu sama kayak gw ngelupain yang lalu-lalu. gw bisa survive dengan yang lain kenapa tidak dengan yang ini. masalahnya cuma kebiasaan, awalnya aja gw akan ngerasa keilangan. lama-lama gw akan terbiasa lagi gak ada dia.

dulu juga serial hidup gw episode yang lalu sebelum tokoh J ini masuk dalam kehidupan gw, toh everything work fine and nothing wrong with my life. ini cuma masalah kebiasaan baru, dan mungkin gw mau mengembalikan pada episode awal drama opera sabun gw.

yang menjadi persoalan kenapa gw gak bisa menyelamatkan hati gw lagi?

di awal episode serial ini, gw dengan yakinnya bilang "gak akan deh gw falls for dia" dengan amat sangat yakin nya kalo gw bisa melalui semua itu dengan berbekal faith gw yang besar kalo we're just friend and no string attached. cuma hanya karena masalah kebiasaan, kebiasaan yang menimbulkan rasa itu dan proses kenyamanan yang terjadi di dalamnya.

aahhh, memikirkannya lagi membuat hati gw berasa aneh. gw begini karena gw mulai ngerasa jatuh hati sama si tokoh J, maka nya gw dengan berat hati want to let him go... melepaskan nya dari genggaman gw dan kembali lagi ke awal. biar kata kita nyaman di sana tapi kalo nyata-nya dia bukan punya kita dan bukan untuk kita, toh kita ga bisa maksain kan? daripada perasaan ini makin berlarut dan gw berubah menjadi tokoh antagonis. lebih baik sampai disini, ya kan??